I am a person with doubts and doubts kill actions. I guess it is always easy to find excuses not to write, not to do what I pursue, especially when life is comfortable. I should not give too much pressure for myself, huh?
This time, I told myself, I want to write. No matter how "blink" my mind is. When we encounter doubts, most of the time, we freeze ourself not to move forward. But this time, I won't let the voice in my head to beat me. I choose to take action no matter what.
It happens to life. We let fear, doubt and inconvenience to take control over us. Those are non-supportive message from our brain, not truly from us. Either the mind control me or me control the mind and this time I am going to stay in control of my mind.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Language to Speak to Children
When Ching Lam was born, I started to talk to her in English. Then we came back to Hong Kong for good. I hesitated.
It is kind of weired as everyone around you is speaking Chinese. Also, for me, my mother tongue is Chinese, of course I feel more comfortable and natural to speak in Chinese. I need to pay extra effort in order to communicate in English. Then, the nurses keep telling me we should speak to her in one language before starting another.
All these hindered me from talking to her in English. I am lucky that I made a decision to keep on going. I learn something from this incident.
She can pick up two languages easily.
I have a girlfriend who has a son with similar age with Ching Lam. Her husband is American. She talks to her son in Chinese and her husband speak in English (for sure!). She has worried that her son can't understand her husband parents' English when they visit them. But the result is that her son has totally no problem in communicating in English.
We should set high standard and believe that they can do it.
We should "impose" expectation to our children. We have to believe and trust that they can do it. Actually children will behave as what we expect. Our belief builds up their confident. This reminds me a boss when I worked in Canada. He has a daughter who was diagnosed that she can't run when she was very little. He didn't tell her the truth as she grows. He didn't even believe that and treated his child as normal. In final, her daughter can run. So sometimes we have to ridiculously believe what human being can do to achieve more.
Have confident in yourself
Sometimes it is not about that we don't have belief in our children. But we lose confident in ourselves. I guess it is the fear of failure, which is extremely powerful. We have to know 80% of what we are afraid of does not really happen (count it!). We tend to find evidents of telling us what we can't do instead of what we can do, so as to do less. As a parent, we are the one who know our children the best but not other experts. So stay firm and preserve.
It is kind of weired as everyone around you is speaking Chinese. Also, for me, my mother tongue is Chinese, of course I feel more comfortable and natural to speak in Chinese. I need to pay extra effort in order to communicate in English. Then, the nurses keep telling me we should speak to her in one language before starting another.
All these hindered me from talking to her in English. I am lucky that I made a decision to keep on going. I learn something from this incident.
She can pick up two languages easily.
I have a girlfriend who has a son with similar age with Ching Lam. Her husband is American. She talks to her son in Chinese and her husband speak in English (for sure!). She has worried that her son can't understand her husband parents' English when they visit them. But the result is that her son has totally no problem in communicating in English.
We should set high standard and believe that they can do it.
We should "impose" expectation to our children. We have to believe and trust that they can do it. Actually children will behave as what we expect. Our belief builds up their confident. This reminds me a boss when I worked in Canada. He has a daughter who was diagnosed that she can't run when she was very little. He didn't tell her the truth as she grows. He didn't even believe that and treated his child as normal. In final, her daughter can run. So sometimes we have to ridiculously believe what human being can do to achieve more.
Have confident in yourself
Sometimes it is not about that we don't have belief in our children. But we lose confident in ourselves. I guess it is the fear of failure, which is extremely powerful. We have to know 80% of what we are afraid of does not really happen (count it!). We tend to find evidents of telling us what we can't do instead of what we can do, so as to do less. As a parent, we are the one who know our children the best but not other experts. So stay firm and preserve.
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Johnny and the Sprites - Walk Through the Portal
From the Johnny and the Sprites episode, "Root of Passage". The Sprite Root goes through the portal alone for the first time while Johnny waits for him on the other side. Johnny encourages Root to go through the portal by singing him a song.
I really like the song and its lyrics.
"Walk through the portal keep on you'll come through it
Don't be too frightened, relax cause you can do it
You'll find you have courage like you never ever know
When you come through the portal on your own
I am out here waiting a pal who won't ignore you
Roots you are winner and we are rooting for you
It's so short the distance till you find your way to me
Once you move through the portal there I'll be
Bravery is all that you'll be needed
And sure it's nice when friends can help you through
But sometimes have to find you have succeeded it's knowing it what really up to you
Stay through at path the portal you'll learn what you are made of
Just for the moment forget what you're afraid of
There's nothing to stop you, now the post is crystal clear
Time to pass through the portal
Pass through the portal, pass through the portal and you're here"
I really like the song and its lyrics.
"Walk through the portal keep on you'll come through it
Don't be too frightened, relax cause you can do it
You'll find you have courage like you never ever know
When you come through the portal on your own
I am out here waiting a pal who won't ignore you
Roots you are winner and we are rooting for you
It's so short the distance till you find your way to me
Once you move through the portal there I'll be
Bravery is all that you'll be needed
And sure it's nice when friends can help you through
But sometimes have to find you have succeeded it's knowing it what really up to you
Stay through at path the portal you'll learn what you are made of
Just for the moment forget what you're afraid of
There's nothing to stop you, now the post is crystal clear
Time to pass through the portal
Pass through the portal, pass through the portal and you're here"
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Point of Frustration
When the emotion of frustration try to sneak in...
We tend to blame other easily.
We always count what we have done for others but not what others have done for us. We always see what we have sacrificed for others but not what others have sacrificed for us. Don't try to hurt the person, I mean verbally, on the scene of emotional outburst. They are normally the unlucky one. They probably have nothing to do with the causes of your upset. Because most of time we carry our negativity for some time until we no longer can tolerate it, then it explodes, and the worst thing is that we always only have the courage to express it to someone we trust and love. You don't want to hurt them, right?
It always comes with anger.
Calm down by intentionally talking slow and soft. You can try to laugh in a very ridiculous way. Do some funny face so as to relax your muscles. Take a deep breath. Walk away from the scene until you become calm. Take a break and do some exercise. Have a nice walk in a park.
Ask: have you set an unrealistic expectation?
We always want things falseness. But we have to understand no one is perfect. No matter how thoughtful the plan we have, how smart we are, there will be mistakes made or the things we can't control. Move on. Have a realistic expectation. Don't get me wrong. I admire the people who pursue excellence. I just want to say get a balance between realistic expectation and perfection. Work hard to change the thing we can control but not the thing we can't control.
Recognize the reality.
Think about the questions. What is really important? What is really happening? Ask good advice from the wisest man you know. As a human being, we have to get wiser in order to face the increasing challenges and responsibilities. Feed your brain by reading good books. Refresh your brain by taking seminars. Practice thinking. Take a new path to work. Try something new. All these will change your dynamics. Remember, if you want to change the situation, change your attitude, your way to see the same situation changes.
Understand there is a price tag for everything.
Don't negotiate with the price. Try not to complain. In an economic driven world, we always talk about the fruit, but not what we need to put in. People always see short term but neglect that if we need to plant a tree, it takes resources and time. Know that everything comes with a package.
Don't pile up your feelings.
We always want to be nice and not tell what we don't like, when we are unhappy and need help. We keep all the feelings ourselves. Express your feeling upfront and learn to say it nicely. I mean SAY it. Avoid judgment of the person when you tell your feelings. Ask for support.
We tend to blame other easily.
We always count what we have done for others but not what others have done for us. We always see what we have sacrificed for others but not what others have sacrificed for us. Don't try to hurt the person, I mean verbally, on the scene of emotional outburst. They are normally the unlucky one. They probably have nothing to do with the causes of your upset. Because most of time we carry our negativity for some time until we no longer can tolerate it, then it explodes, and the worst thing is that we always only have the courage to express it to someone we trust and love. You don't want to hurt them, right?
It always comes with anger.
Calm down by intentionally talking slow and soft. You can try to laugh in a very ridiculous way. Do some funny face so as to relax your muscles. Take a deep breath. Walk away from the scene until you become calm. Take a break and do some exercise. Have a nice walk in a park.
Ask: have you set an unrealistic expectation?
We always want things falseness. But we have to understand no one is perfect. No matter how thoughtful the plan we have, how smart we are, there will be mistakes made or the things we can't control. Move on. Have a realistic expectation. Don't get me wrong. I admire the people who pursue excellence. I just want to say get a balance between realistic expectation and perfection. Work hard to change the thing we can control but not the thing we can't control.
Recognize the reality.
Think about the questions. What is really important? What is really happening? Ask good advice from the wisest man you know. As a human being, we have to get wiser in order to face the increasing challenges and responsibilities. Feed your brain by reading good books. Refresh your brain by taking seminars. Practice thinking. Take a new path to work. Try something new. All these will change your dynamics. Remember, if you want to change the situation, change your attitude, your way to see the same situation changes.
Understand there is a price tag for everything.
Don't negotiate with the price. Try not to complain. In an economic driven world, we always talk about the fruit, but not what we need to put in. People always see short term but neglect that if we need to plant a tree, it takes resources and time. Know that everything comes with a package.
Don't pile up your feelings.
We always want to be nice and not tell what we don't like, when we are unhappy and need help. We keep all the feelings ourselves. Express your feeling upfront and learn to say it nicely. I mean SAY it. Avoid judgment of the person when you tell your feelings. Ask for support.
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