Do and Don't with spouse

I just want to learn from lessons and be a better wife.

Have a loving and thankful attitude
Sometimes we become defensive after we got married for a period of time. We forgot to support and love our spouse.

Actually if you are 'above', you can do the 'below' very easily. Everything starts from the 'being'.

Prevent negative words
We always say negative words with our spouse as we know they will take whatever we say. We take it for granted.

Prevent unsolved issue and reprehend previous incident
Communicate and solve the problem at the time when it happens.

Listen
Listen with heart but not only the ears. We think we know our spouse so well that we don't let them to talk or we just use our presumption to try to deviate their meanings.

More thank you and praise

Don't try to have a conclusion for who is right or wrong in a discussion
Sometimes we let the ego of ourselves to take control. May be we care about how our spouse see us. Be open in a discussion. Don't try to find who is right or wrong.

Don't take your spouse words personally
Sometime your spouse express opinions on other things, we take it personally. We think he/she is blaming us. Don't take it personally. They just want to say something.

Don't be too sensitive.

Empower him/her when he/she is doing something for you/family
Give him/her initial instrustion and let him/her do it. Don't try to judge how he/she does it. Let go. Let them use "their" method of doing it instead of using "your" method. Let them learn by themselves. You help only when he/she asks for.

Think of what he/she sacrifices but not only what you sacrifice for the family

Control your emotion
If you are out of control, go away immediately.

Don't let the concern or fear stop you from enjoying "this" moment
We always have a lot of concern or fear in our mind. May be we worry about the things we have to do. Remember we live for enjoying the moment. I am not saying we don't have plan for our future. But when we are having family time, try to leave the worries behind.

Say it soft
Say it soft when you want to oppose.

Acknowledge he/she has done his/her best
We always want to be recognized that we have tried our best.

Don't ask what he/she wants if you don't want things go his/her ways, ha ha

Don't try to please everyone in the family
Do things for everyone's good and love but not to 'please' them.

More and more...

I am glad that I have the chance to learn.